thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
