Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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