If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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