I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
