actually, I'm a sock model
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
