if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
