don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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