You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
