doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
