were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't deserve a penis
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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