Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
