found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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