I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
