My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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