youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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