spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
