turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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