Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you traded sex for a burrito?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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