Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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