I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
