Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
