Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
