If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I love having hate sex.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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