She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
