When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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