Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
