ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
