Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
