Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
