WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
