Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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