He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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