I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
