So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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