6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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