I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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