is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
