Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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