I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
