take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
