I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
