You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
