Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
