I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
