About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
