You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
