i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
