would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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