oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
