Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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