oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
